Ned Kelly and the dead roos

Bradman Oval

Bright and early the next morning we set off on our 12-hour trek to Melbourne. Surprisingly, despite the previous evening’s antics, we left on time and reached our first lunch stop, the Bradman Oval at Bowral – a wonderfully picturesque pitch adjacent to the Bradman Museum. The Mosman executives were kind enough to present us with free tickets. Berlin loves to save!

At the Bradman Musem in Bowral

Another 4 hours and 5 dead Roos later, we reached our second, unscheduled stop – Glenrowan, the famous scene of Ned Kelly’s last stand! It nearly became Reuben’s last stand as he was attacked by a swarm of army ants not far from the spot where Ned left the Anne Jones Inn decked out in 100-kilo armour. Curiously, Ned covered his head, arms and body with armour – but forgot to protect his legs, so the constables simply aimed there! He survived and was later hanged at Melbourne gaol.

As we approached Melbourne, the heavens opened and the rain fell for the last 2 hours of the journey – totally unprecedented for this time of year! Here’s hoping none of the games are cancelled, but that seems unlikely.

The Mosman Challenge

With moisture still heavy in the air, we headed to Mosman CC for the final game of the Sydney leg at the Rawlson Oval. André’s mother had spent the previous day plucking 7 chickens for lunch and Volker proudly informed us, after checking his emails, that the game had been postponed until 2 pm – but alas this was a breakdown in communication and John was seen to be jumping up and down on his hat in frustration and the players slowly dawdled from the hostel to the van!

Mosman CC

Of course, the game had not been postponed and we were lucky to start on time at 11 am for the first 50 over game on tour. Despite rain on the previous evening, the pitch was covered and in perfect condition. The boundaries are large at Mosman so it meant a lot of running and chasing the ball. Again, the setting was spectacular, overlooking Manly to the west and Balmoral to the east.

Scoring behind glass

Mosman were competitive and obviously used to winning – they even had a league umpire equipped with his own Pith helmet. Unfortunately, despite an excellent performance with the ball – we got them all out for 146 in 45 overs – we couldn’t cross the finish line coming up 14 runs short. Reuben finished strongly with 4 for 39 and 33 with the bat.

After the game we headed to Balmoral beach again for more fish and chips, scoffing them down on an outcrop of land reaching into the sea, with the strains of an open-air production of Hamlet in the background! In the evening, we drank away the disappointment of 4 losses, polishing off a bottle of whiskey, a bottle of Yellow Tail, and half a bottle of Bacardi whilst debating who is better: Bradman or Tendulkar!

Lads against the picket fence

The Pikies…

Our third opponents were a club steeped in tradition. I Zingari (meaning the gypsies) are a long-established club with a wonderful pitch at Camden Park. The setting was as beautiful as Mandalong but without the cicada chorus. I Zingari are obviously used to hosting touring teams and they were extremely good at it. Despite the rain they were keen to get started ASAP and had prepared a wonderfully healthy lunch.

I Zingari pavilion

 The captains decided on a new format: a two innings’ game of 20 and 25 overs. We bowled first and restricted the gypsies to 51 for 4 from their first 20 overs. It didn’t sound much but the pitch was tricky and we only got 39 from our first 20.

In the afternoon the pitched dried out as the sun came out and we allowed the hosts to reach 137 for 9. We lost wickets early in the chase and recovered through a partnership of 62 between Reuben and Martin – but the scoring rate was too slow and we needed 45 from the last 5 overs.

André and Nick at the crease

 Our ring-ins, Davo and Stevo chipped in with some hard hitting but it wasn’t enough and we ended up losing by 10 runs. The disappointment was softened by the backdrop, the food, the post-match beer – and the sight of a Goanna snoozing on the side of a tree.

Spot the Goanna

Roseville CC

Despite the scorching sunshine, our second game was also under threat of cancellation due to the overnight rain. Australians are obviously not used to rain affecting their matches and any slight moisture in the air is greeted with pessimism and shouts of ‘not a chance of playing today’! After being informed that the game would not take place at the intended ground as it was ‘waterlogged’ (?!?!), André’s organisational skills came into their own and he set about arranging an alternative council ground. Half an hour later and we were all set for a 20-over bash. Great work from Penfold there!

Martin celebrating a stumping off Arvind

The pitch actually had an amazing view perched on top of a spit of land overlooking the bay and the ocean – although the strip was artificial and the ground was postage-stamp sized. We batted first and despite early losses posted a respectable, if below-par, 141, with Reuben smashing 2 huge sixes on to the roof of the pavilion. The opposition made short work of our total and although we took regular wickets – Arvind taking a 3-fer and Siva picking up two run-outs – they got the runs with 4 overs to spare.

So with an early finish we headed down to Balmoral beach for some frolicking in the sea! But this was also washed out as a huge downpour came and forced us to take shelter in the nearby fish and chip shop. Very tasty!

Reuben & Siva on Balmoral beach

In the evening, we headed off to the Oaks in Neutral Bay to sink a few Merlot’s or Carlton’s and we rounded off the evening with a game of pool – India vs Rest of the World! It was a tense thriller with much strategy being discussed and shortly before we were kicked out, I potted the winning black into the side pocket. India went off skulking and muttering something about a decision review system…

On the road to Mandalong

Although I had been led to believe that Australia is one of the hottest continents on Earth, it certainly wasn’t very dry as we drove north of Sydney on the road to Mandalong, where Mosman CC was waiting to welcome us at their fairly remote but picturesque cricket ground. The monsoon-like rain seriously threatened to scupper our first game of the tour. Luckily our host used a tarpaulin cover on the square and after a couple more showers, the sun finally came out and we agreed to play a 35-over game.

The pavillion at Mandalong

Reuben and André went out to bat first to a constant cacophony of screeching coming from the local cicada population. It sounded worse than a Berlin ambulance siren – Reuben was hoping that if he nicked one, it wouldn’t be heard above the din. The openers gave us a decent platform although it was difficult to bat on the drying track. The ball seemed to get stuck in the pitch and we managed only a modest run rate of 4 an over. After André lobbed one to gully and Reuben had hit a huge six, our ringer, Anthony, went about bludgeoning the Reader’s ball to all parts. With contributions from Ashwin, Siva and me, we got the score up to 146 for 5.

The opposition had the better of the conditions as the sun came out later and dried up the pitch. They started well and, despite losing one opener as he skied one to me off Reuben, looked to be cruising. However, BCC came back and after Mosman’s opener retired on 50 (as agreed before the game) took a spree of wickets. In the end it came down to a last over thriller. They needed 15 off 5 overs with only one wicket in hand - but finally got home with 3 balls to spare.

BCC's openers take the field as the rain stops

It was a great experience to play cricket in the ‘bush’ with cicada’s screeching in the background and wallabies among the spectators. Unfortunately, there were no redbacks in the makeshift toilets, but no one seemed too bothered as they tucked in to their ‘snags’ at lunch!

Ashes 5th Test at the SCG, Day 3

Having suffered at the hands of Australian cricket for the best part of 2 decades, how fitting is was to combine my first trip to Australia with a visit to the SCG to watch England trounce Australia in the Ashes. The atmosphere was awesome and not unlike a sunny day at Lord’s - except there was none of the stuffiness. The Australian fans were more scathing of their own players than the English and the sledging coming from the fans in the stands was relentless.

André was kind enough to find us seats with no shade so we could really work on our tans. And it got really hot as the afternoon wore on. Really hot. This was not like Lord’s – anyone without sun crème would have burned more quickly than Jamie Oliver’s school dinners. Although some preferred to cover themselves from head to toe so as to make sure the sun couldn’t get the more remote parts (see pic.)

Pink-suited man at SCG

Siva and Martin at SCG

 Through his rapidly expanding network of media contacts, André managed to secure us a radio interview with ABC. We were escorted into the Bradman media centre and into the warren of broadcasting rooms where Sky Sports, BBC and ABC all had the best seats in the house to commentate on the on-field goings-on. I brushed past Beefy who looked straight past me (actually he looked right over me  - him being a strapping 6’5” or so). Athers looked accusingly at us as he reached for another chocolate muffin from the media buffet and Boycott and Tony Greig were busy looking important and thinking up new ways to say how good England were. Shane Warne was also up there – not smoking and not eating muffins! Finding an empty room turned out to be impossible so we decided to hold the interview outside to the sound of beer barrels being rolled in the background. I think it went well – I managed to mention the web address, so with any luck we may have an influx of overseas players next year!

Arrival in Sydney

So after a gruelling 22-hour flight the main tour party finally touched down in an overcast but pleasantly warm Sydney. It was probably the worst flight of my life, having been wedged in between two giants for the first flight to Hong Kong, I was then treated to the pleasure of sitting next to an Englishman who was very probably suffering from a serious bout of dengue fever. He had to ‘pop to the loo’ every five minutes and was sniffling like a wounded rhino and breathing his germs over everyone within a five mile radius.

Volker had a bit of a scare as he checked in at Tegel. His ruthless German efficiency confused BA staff at the counter who couldn’t find his visa registration. It turned out he had entered the extra letter on his passport denoting nationality. The system wasn’t able to process the extra information and the gum-chewing BA employee could only quote from ‘Little Britain’ – “Computer says no!”

Arvind was able to show off his teleporting skills at Hong Kong airport – after being stopped for carrying nail scissors in his hand luggage, he then teleported over to the departure gate leaving us waiting at security scratching our heads. He then showed us the trick again at baggage reclaim – although why he needed to take a flight to Sydney is not clear as he could have simply teleported straight from his home in Berlin to the hostel in Sydney!

So unfortunately, no missing luggage or grounded planes to report – the ‘main’ tour party arrived safely and John Leslie was on hand at the airport to drive us to our hostel. Stage 1 complete.